Churchgoers

Attending church services with a one year old is like going to a foreign film without subtitles...

What is the point really? You can decipher that something dramatic is going on, but you're pretty sure that you are missing some crucial pieces of the story because not ten minutes ago the happy foreign couple was blissfully skipping through the countryside, the woman in her peasant dress and the man in his goofy hat that only a foreigner or drama guy would try and pull off on a date in the countryside, but now the woman is slapping the man in the face and storming off. You're pretty sure that the reason for the change in demeanor has something to do with the goofy hat but then again it may have had something to do with the five minute conversation the couple had under an impressively old tree. But you can't be totally sure because you don't speak Bulgarian and to you it mostly sounded like your uncle Richie rambling on after he stuffed his mouth full of potato salad. Sure, you may understand a word here or there but the point is entirely lost on you.

The same is true of church with a young child. You hear a snippet or two but between shoving crackers into the bottomless pit which is the child’s mouth, and tracking down the toy car which was hurled at the nice old lady in front of you, you just don't get a whole lot of the substance.